Leave People Better Than You Found Them
Definition of Fool
n. One who is deficient in judgment, sense, or understanding.
n. One who acts unwisely on a given occasion.
https://www.wordnik.com/words/fool
There have been times when I matched both definitions. I made choices that showed poor judgment, sense, or understanding.
When I was young, my mother taught me to leave things better than I found them. This helps the next person. I try to do this everywhere, whether at work, in a hotel room, or at home. I also try not to leave a mess. This idea applies to relationships too. Our actions and words can leave others feeling better or worse. It all depends on how we treat people.
With this in mind, when I think about helping others, I see it in a bigger way. It's not just about my teams at work. I want this to carry over into my personal life with family, friends, and everyone I know. More than that, I hope to leave anyone I meet feeling better than before, even if we only talk for a few moments. Whether I'm at the checkout in a store or talking to someone on the phone, I ask myself: How can I help that person feel better about their day?
Let me share a story about a time I missed the chance to do this. I had a tough interaction recently. There was an overdue bill, but I never got a bill or a call warning me it would go to collections, and that's exactly what happened. I wanted to understand, but I also wanted to talk about their process in a helpful way.
I was on the phone with Tina from accounting. Have you ever talked to someone who just reads from a script and won't answer your questions? Tina kept telling me to check the payment policy on my bill, and I kept saying I didn't have a bill.
After five minutes, I started to get frustrated. "Tina, I don’t have a bill with the policy." It felt like I was talking to a machine that could only give one answer. Maybe I was.
In the end, I had to let go of my goal to change their policy. I was about to end the call when Tina asked, "Is there anything else I can do for you today?"
I replied, "Yes, I would appreciate more effective communication and understanding." After I hung up, I realized I could have handled it differently.
That was poor communication and not very helpful. Tina was probably on the phone all day, listening to excuses about unpaid bills. Then I called, frustrated, thinking I could fix their process. That wasn't realistic. I was probably just upset because my account went to collections.
What could I have done to leave Tina feeling better?
Let's look for chances to help others. Who do we know? A partner, friend, spouse, child, relative, or co-worker. We meet people every day at places like Lowe's, Walmart, Sam’s, Menards, and Home Depot. When I go to the register, it's another chance to connect. Even a tough phone call is an opportunity. Will I leave that person feeling better or worse?
To show a different outcome, I'll share another story with a better result. We recently lost one of our German Shepherds to old age. Some might say it's just a dog, but after ten years together, they become your best friend. I started emailing local shepherd breeders, and I got this reply from Kathy:
"We have no dogs for sale; I'm down to one dog. I am in the hospital with COVID - Kathy."
I could have just replied, Oh, Ok, thanks, and left it there. But I wondered how I could encourage Kathy. So I answered like this:
"Oh, No, Kathy! I'm so sorry to hear this. My cousin is in the same situation in the hospital. We will be praying for you."
What if we made it a point to look for ways to help and encourage others? We might not change the whole world at once, but we can change the world around us.
My friend Raj told me about a time when, as a young boy, he was walking with his grandfather in India. His Grandfather was a high-ranking politician in the area. As they walked along, Raj saw a beggar lying on the street and pointed at him. His Grandfather hit his hand and said, “Never reach out your hand to someone lower than yourself unless you are putting out your hand to help them up.” It was something Raj never forgot, and I witnessed him modeling his life on his Grandfather’s advice.
“Be wise in the way you act toward people; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Colossians 4:5-6 - NIV
