The Day I Found Love: How One Moment Changed My Perspective Forever
Today, pick at least one person and show them kindness, whether through what you say, what you do, or both. If you do this every day, your life may change in ways you never imagined.
Have you ever had a time when life felt out of control?
For me, that moment was December 24th, 1990. My daughter was six years old, and we were starting a new decade together. I was also beginning life as a single parent and wasn’t sure I could handle it. There were so many projects and responsibilities at home and work that it felt impossible to manage everything. I pulled my car onto our snow-packed driveway, and the tires slid on the ice. Looking over my shoulder, I saw my daughter asleep in her car seat. I got out, slipped a bit on the frozen ground, and caught my balance. I opened the back door, picked her up, and closed the door with my knee. Standing there, I shifted her in my arms to get a better grip. As I took a step, my feet started to slide out from under me.
In that split second, I saw two choices: let go of my daughter to catch myself, or hold on to her and take the fall. That moment summed up where I was in life. The last ten years had been tough, and the past two were especially hard. I felt like I was in freefall, unsure if I could survive the landing.
What comes to mind when you think about a hard time in your life? Most of us have been there. When you’re in a tough spot and feel broken, you learn what it means to survive. If you’re there now, don’t give up. Things can get better.
As I began to cope with my responsibilities, I knew it was time to either live or die a slow death. I remember a news article about a guy who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and survived. He felt like no one cared about him any longer and just wanted to end it all—until he was airborne. As soon as he cleared the rail, he realized he wanted to live, but it was too late to do anything but pray. Prayer can be an excellent place to start.
There are times when it is better not to go it alone. For me, this was one of those times. Hillary Clinton once said, “It takes a village to raise a child,” and I began to notice the truth of that statement. I decided to reach out to people around me and let them into my life to help, and, amazingly, they did. Up until this point, I was fond of thinking I could do everything by myself. But as I hit the limits of what I could do, I found that people around me were more than willing to help fill in the gaps. That shift in perspective changed the way I thought about life and people.
Before that time, it was all about me: my life, my agenda, my ideas. It was my way or the highway. But as a result of my shift in perspective and other people investing in me, I began to pay it forward and invest in others. As I did this, I found rewards beyond anything I could imagine. It was like climbing a steep mountain, and the person above would reach down and help me to the next level. Then I would reach down and help boost someone higher.
In life, we often only see what is within our view. I thank God for people who help us turn just a little to the right or the left and shift our perspective so that we have the opportunity to see something new and wonderful.
I started by telling you about the day I found love. Up to that day, I wasn’t sure I cared about anyone except myself. Then that evening, I found myself standing on thin ice with my 6-year-old daughter asleep in my arms. As my feet slid forward, I began to fall straight back. It happened so fast that I only had time to decide if I would let go of her to catch myself or just ride it down. I think you know the answer.
I held on tight, closed my eyes, and fell back into the arms of God. I hit the icy concrete flat on my back and head so hard that I literally saw lightning and stars. An electric shock jarred every part of my body. For a minute, I just lay there wondering if I could even move. My daughter never even woke up. As the swirling snowflakes drifted around us, I could feel the slow rhythm of her breathing as her head rested against my shoulder. I looked up at the heavens and, for the first time, realized that I loved someone else more than myself. In a split second, I had made a decision to protect her at the cost of my safety.
Love is not something we only feel; it is something we do. Our love is realized in our actions. We will never be whole until we begin to love the people around us, the stranger as well as those close to our hearts. To receive, we must learn to give. To live, we must learn to love.
My encouragement to you is this: Today, find at least one person and be intentionally kind in your words, in your actions, or both. Make a habit of doing this every day, and your life will change. You will have rewards beyond your greatest imagination.
I’m H Mark Taylor, and that was the day I found love.
Lessons Learned
Being Alone - You are only as alone as you want to be. If you feel alone, try something different; Reach out to someone. Build a relationship and trust before risking too much information. We are often in a hurry, but relationships and trust grow over time. When you feel overwhelmed, rushed, or nervous... breathe slowly and intentionally. Take time to meditate and pray.
Love and Hope are not only something we feel, but also require active practice and action to be fully realized. When you feel hopeless, unloved, or both, reach out and encourage someone. Focusing outside yourself can help elevate your mood. Say words of encouragement to your family or a friend. You can also do this with someone you don't know, but use wisdom and don't get carried away, because some people will not appreciate or even feel threatened by your approach. At the checkout lane, watch for someone who seems in need of a kind word: "I really appreciate your customer service and attitude." At a restaurant, leave a huge tip and a note of encouragement to the staff. Smile at people (but don't go overboard and get yourself into trouble, hey)? There are boundaries. As we reach out in love towards others, love often finds us!
Life vs. Death - Concentrate on living, not dying. If your thoughts are focused on death and dying, seek professional help. If you don't know where to turn, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline @ 800-273-8255.
Crisis Decisions - When you feel overwhelmed, it is not a good time to make a decision. Give yourself permission to take time to seek out wise counsel. Like the young man on the Golden Gate Bridge, once you leap, it may be too late to reverse course. Begin to build a support network of people who care about you. If you can't find someone who cares about you, then find a support group in your area and start there. https://www.mhanational.org/find-support-groups
