When Life Feels Overwhelming: Restoring Hope Through Action and Accountability
Have you ever noticed how even simple tasks can feel overwhelming? Sometimes, people are hard to get along with, act out, or even bully others. Why do we lose hope, give up on our dreams, and settle for less than we want?
Some Examples
Doris has a corporate job, but her manager doesn’t recognize her potential. Despite her excellent work, she’s overlooked for promotions and gets poor salary reviews, making it hard to find other opportunities. She used to enjoy her job, but now she dreads going in each day.
Joe works a so-so job and is just waiting for retirement. When he met Juanita, they had fun together and shared a lot. But after 20 years, they argue more than they talk. If they’re not fighting, they mostly keep to themselves. They spend more time at work or avoiding each other than trying to connect. Both Joe and Juanita wonder if there’s something better out there.
The other day, I was working on my cabin, which I do often since we’re finishing the inside. Almost every time I start a simple job, it ends up being much harder than expected. I tried to put up concrete board by the wood stove, but the 2x4s were warped and twisted. I had to take the board down and fix it first. What I thought would take an hour ended up taking five hours over two days. It was frustrating and not much fun.
The Bottom Line
Life can be tough, and many people have it even harder. I haven’t even talked about those living with serious illness or pain, people who have lost loved ones, or those who are homeless, abandoned, hungry, or thirsty. No matter who you are, sometimes life feels overwhelming and depression takes over. We can feel hopeless and start to believe we’re helpless.
The Other Side
I don’t want to ignore that some situations really are hopeless. There aren’t many, but they do exist. I train dogs, especially German Shepherds, and eventually, you get bitten. Usually, it’s an accident, but some dogs are just moody. A few years ago, I ended up in the hospital with a bad bite on my hand. When you’re in the hospital, you rely on the staff for everything. It’s humbling to see others who are in even worse shape; some won’t leave the hospital the way they came in.
While I was in the hospital, I could hear a woman in the next room moaning and calling for help. Sometimes she got medication that seemed to put her to sleep, but otherwise, no one could really help her. My mom had a heart problem in her later years. By the time we reached the hospital, she was unconscious and passed away a few hours later. My dad also died in the hospital after a fall. I remember sitting with him, looking into his eyes. He didn’t speak, and eventually, he slipped away. I still wonder what he was thinking in those moments. There are no simple steps to alter the situation or our attitude that are either effective or appropriate. There are times when we truly are helpless and with no hope. However, we never give up. As long as there is a breath in our body, we cry out for strength to take one more step, one more breath, and maybe look for the impossible hope in an otherwise hopeless situation. It’s a lot easier to say this when you are not going through it.
Ways to Cope and Succeed
Now, let’s look at situations where our own choices cause most of our struggles. I want to be clear—I know some people will say, “But my situation really is hopeless, and I am helpless.” I get it, because I’ve felt that way too. But most of the time, even if we feel helpless, we actually aren’t.
There are three steps you can take to help restore hope.
Reach Out
- Talk to a friend and find accountability. We all have blind spots that keep us in ruts.
- Take time to help others and focus outward, not inward. This can do wonders to help alleviate feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and depression.
- Work with a medical professional and/or counselor.
Take Intentional Action
- Plan. What is your objective, and how does it fit with your purpose in life?
- Realize what is realistic.
- Create action goals and daily action steps to achieve those goals. Determine 3 things you can do every week to move in the direction of your goal.
Engage Accountability
- Find people who believe in you and allow them to hold you accountable for your actions.
- Accountability can be very powerful to help you achieve your hopes and dreams even faster than you 'dreamed’ it possible.
- Find a well-trained professional coach; this can accelerate your success.
Remember, feelings are just feelings—they don’t always reflect what’s really happening. It’s important to reach out to people who care and will listen. Many times, we can change our feelings and attitudes ourselves.
Disclaimer
Sometimes, things happen that we just can’t control. Some people deal with clinical depression or other mental health issues, and they may need medical help. When tough times affect our well-being or make it hard to think clearly, there’s no quick fix or advice that will make everything better. Still, we often grow and build character through hard times in ways that easy times can’t teach us.
The Rest of the Story
Doris was struggling with her work life. Changing her manager’s attitude was out of her control, but moving to a different employer was not. She was able to work with a coach to determine a path of success, which put her in a position she enjoyed.
Joe and Juanita valued their relationship enough to seek counseling, and both wanted to improve it by changing their own behavior. It was very difficult and did not happen immediately, but the good days began to outnumber the bad.
I am blessed to have a very good friend who helps me see life from a different perspective. I’m lucky to have a close friend who helps me see things differently. When life gets tough, she listens and offers a positive outlook. I also work with a coach and have other people in my life who keep me accountable and aren’t afraid to give honest feedback, both good and bad. If you feel helpless or depressed and you can’t shake free, seek professional help before making critical decisions that may affect your life and others'. Remember, there is help, and taking that step can make all the difference.
John Maxwell's book, The 15 Laws of Growth, is an excellent resource for continuing this journey.
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H Mark Taylor enjoys living on a farm with his lifelong friend and partner, romping around with their German Shepherd companions, and practicing mindfulness in enjoying life. He is a leadership & life coach with more than 20 years of experience and training, earned his Master's in Information Management from Washington University - St. Louis, and has multiple certifications in Leadership, Project Management, and Cyber Security. H Mark gives all credit to his wife, Young, and to God.
© copyright 2022 H Mark Taylor
