Chapter One

Chapter One
There is a saying that a fool is born every minute. While most people would find this attribution offensive, I take great delight in it. It's a sentiment that I'm sure many of us can relate to. There was a time in my younger years when I would have seen the title demeaning. However, the older I get, the more I appreciate it. If you have never had the grand experience of being labeled as a fool, stupid, or an idiot, I highly recommend it. There is nothing like a good put-down to provide a solid foundation of humility. Although unpleasant, humility is a crucial ingredient to living with ourselves and others.
 
"You're an IDIOT!" 

Truer words were never left unsaid. They didn't need to be spoken. Somehow, I knew them by heart and was never short of repeating them in my mind. I never heard my mom or dad tell me I was an idiot. Dad would talk about other people that way, but I don't remember him saying that to me. Yet, all these years, those are the words in my mind about me and, if I'm honest with you, about other people too. This internal dialogue, shaped by my father's words and my own self-criticism, has been a constant companion throughout my life. 
 
The other day, I was driving down the road when a high-end black sedan pulled up right behind me. Then it whipped around, cut in front of me, and continued to weave in and out of traffic. I didn't slam on the horn or make any gestures. I'm kind of past that at my age, and it takes more energy than I'd like to expend. I just shook my head and, in a calm voice, said, "You're a stupid idiot." 
 
The truth is, we've all been in a hurry and made similar mistakes. It's easy to point fingers, but we're often just pointing at ourselves. That's the funny thing about perspective. We can justify our own actions, but when someone else does the same, they're just an idiot, right? It's a universal experience, isn't it? 
 
The world is full of people who have determined that they know better than everyone else and are qualified to tell you what you should think and how to live your life. I'm no exception; neither are you if you look deep enough. Sometimes, I have the opportunity to meet people who seem demure, quiet, and humble. Yet, as we get to know each other, it becomes evident that they have very concrete ideas about life, themselves, me, what is right and wrong in the world and society, and what everyone else should be doing and thinking. It makes sense. Even though none of us is the center of the world, we are, by default, the center of OUR world. How can we be anything different when we are more or less trapped within our own perspective? 
 
The core issue is that each of us is, in a way, trapped within our own consciousness. Our brain records what happens to and around us and filters it through our personality and experience to make sense of it. There are some things that we may all agree on. It's raining outside. A dog is barking. I have a headache. We may agree on things we can validate, such as math and language. But when it comes to opinion, emotion, and thought, that's a different matter. Sometimes, the best we can do is to agree, disagree, and work together. However, as we see all too often, we can't even agree to disagree. We want to make our point. 
 
The other day, my wife and I hosted a 4th of July lunch. A couple of our guests began conversing about math, the laws of physics, and life. When you think about it, it makes sense. Marius and Keith both have excellent brains for higher-end mathematics, and they hit it off. Keith typically wouldn't even show up at our gathering, but I asked him to help move a refrigerator, so he was tricked into coming. After the move, he turned toward the door to leave, but Marius began asking him questions, and the conversation somehow degenerated into a discussion of math and how it shapes society and life. 
 
The main idea was that communication is only possible with basic laws. Even language and thought are determined by rules and laws. For instance, a sheet of music can be written by someone in a different country, in a different language, at a different time, and with a different ideology, yet be played centuries later without concern. We only need to understand the rules of music, where a C is a C is a C. 
 
Their conversation made me think about the devolution of society. We may argue about whether we like a particular song or whether it is good or bad, but that is a matter of preference. However, what if we determine that because we don't like a particular song, there is something wrong with the rules of how music is written? This analogy can be extended to societal norms and rules. Let's change society's structure entirely, and if anyone disagrees, we will block them and call for their destruction. After all, if we are going to make real change, we need to eliminate anyone who disagrees with us, don't we? That is where society is today. 
 
In the times we hide behind our protective walls and shoot at everyone outside, we are demonstrating that we are no more than fools. When a mother or father sings to their small child, they don't care about the song's structure or how it looks on paper or on a screen. Reasoning and a reasonable structure in our brains and bodies make music possible. There is something built within us that understands love yet learns to hate. Something deep within yearns for acceptance but retreats into loneliness. 
 
That's only my thought about it. This may not be true because remembering that I, too, am that fool, thinking myself wiser than I am, or why else would I even attempt to write this? Here are some other thoughts about people whom we might judge as fools: 
 
Fools do not desire to learn; instead, they give their opinions. Only a fool rejects wisdom and sound advice. Fools always think they know what is best. It's stupid and embarrassing to answer before you listen. 
 
There are three overriding factors in this. 
Love 
Humility 
Grace 
 
Love overcomes a multitude of sins, which, in this day, we may refer to as 'shortcomings.' The words " Love and Shortcomings " require some explanation. A fool is interested in only themselves, not others. In this case, love refers to the person who has to put up with a fool. It takes patience, kindness, and self-control to tolerate a fool. Just ask my wife or daughter.
In some cases, boundaries are necessary, and some amount of control is required. Allowing a fool to blather on and damage relationships does no good. Ask me how I know this.
The word “Shortcoming” is a new word for what folks used to call “Sin”. When hearing the word " sin, most people put it in a religious context, slam the door, and try to throw away the key. The problem is that the key is securely fastened around each person's ankle and tends to show itself at the most inopportune times. The door doesn't have a lock anyway, and the dungeon where we lock away things we don't like is in our mind; it is internal, not external. Those awful little rats scurry right out of that dark, dank dungeon and quickly find their way into our everyday lives for everyone to see. It's rather embarrassing, to say the least, and all kinds of reasonings and excuses blow into the air as we try to shove them back down into the cellar. 
 
"Oh my goodness," (really… "goodness"? That's an antonym right there), "where did that come from? Maybe the people next door aren't keeping their yard up, so all those rats scurry over here." 
 
That is how we explain away our shortcomings or Sin. By default, we blame it on someone else, some circumstance, anything but ourselves. If we take responsibility and address it, it won't be an issue, or at least not as much of an issue. Owning the truth doesn't magically eliminate all our problems; it may create more. I realize that some people reading this would like more details, but it is a matter of individual understanding. Therefore, I invite you to explore the dark labyrinth of your own mind. You will find the most amazing and entertaining stories of your own making there. 
 
I kind of hate to jump down into this rabbit hole, but I think I will anyway. In talking about the things in our minds that we would never share with anyone else, have you ever heard of those famous people who author some of the most awful yet entertaining books? I name no names here. These are books detailing horror, sex, rape, murder, and the most disgusting, shocking depths of human depravity. The authors make a lot of money from this. Remember that these are fictional stories, and I am emphasizing the word 'fiction': they are make-believe, not real. Ordinary folks like you and me would line up to meet these famous authors and get their books signed. They are on the best-seller list. Yet, we don’t seem to think about where all that dark fiction and sewage ideas come from. I'll leave it at that. 
 
Humility is one of the best defenses against becoming a fool oneself. Yet, humility is very elusive and rarely seen or acknowledged. It is a funny concept. Not funny, "Ha, ha," but funny as in odd. While a fool is concerned mainly about their own self and letting everyone know how wonderful and wise they are, humility covers foolishness like a wet blanket smothers a fire. A person may be known for being humble, but the moment they acknowledge it, they are no longer humble. A person who says, "Oh, I'm not humble at all," probably is not. On the other hand, the person who says, "I'm known for my humility," or "I'm a very humble person," is not. It works against us both ways. Any focus on humility vaporizes it into a mist, poisoning the person within its acidic cloud. 
 
Would you like to appear humble and wise to other people around you? Learn the art of listening without running your mouth incessantly or trying to think of an answer to the conversation. You will be surprised at the level of difficulty. Silence takes much practice because we love to talk about whatever is on our minds, not what others may think. Being completely quiet and staring at someone is unnecessary; they may think you are a fool. Be engaging by listening and processing what they communicate without judging their motives. The judging can come later, out of earshot. :-) 
 
Here are some sample responses: 
"Mm hmmm… Really? I see… Hmmm, that's interesting… Tell me more… What makes you think that?" 
 
You get the idea. No matter how much you dislike what is communicated or how it may offend you, smile, nod, ask a question, or excuse yourself. People will begin to see you in a different light, bringing us to the practice of grace. 
 
Grace is the simple yet beautiful bow on the gift wrapping. It's a fragrant flower in the moonlight, the gentle breeze on a lake, the majesty of mountains in the distance. The princess enters the room with her entourage, and it is she we see as everyone gasps at her beauty. It is the bride entering as everyone stands in respect of her wedding. For it truly is her wedding, not his, that we celebrate. At that moment, we recognize her grace and beauty. She may not have been a person of grace, nor ever will again, but for that moment, she is. 
 
Grace extends kindness in the face of transgression, restraint in a rebel's presence, and indulgence with a fool — not too much indulgence, but enough to be recognized as grace. In all her regality, the Queen smiles, nods, and proceeds to her destination without repercussion. 
 
Grace found me when I began to recognize that I was the one in need of her. It was the beginning of humility, realizing my failure to love or listen to anyone outside my own perspective. We are all in love with ourselves in one way or another. The story of Adam and Eve leads us to conclude that what they lost for us was the ability to see each other and God the way they are. Instead, we are relegated to thinking only about ourselves and fear the one who crafted us into the most majestic, crowning creation of all.